Sharing is vital in a marriage because marriage is a partnership. Marriage does not occur unless there are two consenting adults who vow “to have and to hold” each other; marriage does not occur too, unless there are couples who consummate their involvement with each other through a personal and intimate physical union.
This fact alone indicates that sharing is one very important aspect of marriage; that it is a partnership in which each one is expected to have an equal obligation of all things that should be shared.
What are the things that married couples should share? Shared activities of couples include several simple but bond strengthening processes.
One primary activity that should be shared is time. Married couples should find time to spend with each other and share each other’s thoughts, concepts, feelings and what-nots.
One successful couple I know, spent at least one hour everyday with each other. They talk about nothing in particular but just share their thoughts with each other. They share what transpired during the day.
They talk about their plans for the morrow. They talk about the things that they had problems with. They share their visions and their dreams with each other. Couples who do this usually have a long lasting relationship because they get to understand each other more.
Responsibilities should be shared also. They should agree on who takes care of each of the various responsibilities that come with marriage. When responsibilities are shared, there is a sense of belongingness and oneness that would make the marriage stronger.
A financial obligation is one of these. A clear agreement would avoid misunderstandings that could arise from this aspect. There are lots of marriages which have gone sour because of financial disagreements. It should be made clear who pays for this and that bill.
Household chores should also be shared. Who should cook? Who should iron the clothes? Who should wash the dishes? These may seem trivial but when these are coupled with work related stress and pressure, they can be taxing.
Couples should help each other out in this aspect. They would discover the joy of doing the dishes together, of the happiness of being able to cook food together.
Rearing children is a great, shared responsibility – the greatest of all. Since they have willingly consented to procreation and literally “made” their children together, they should also be willing to share in the enormous task of taking care of their children.
What a wonderful family it would be, when the mother and father agrees to commit themselves to share in the upbringing of their kids in an atmosphere of mutual sharing and love.